The Official Anti-Tauren Thread
Posted: Tue Apr 21, 2015 7:29 pmLet's be real here. I hate cows. You hate cows, too. You say you don't hate cows? Well, you should, for they have grazed on our precious loot for far too long.
Taurens are a menace, although many people do not seem to realize it. When you wipe in a dungeon or raid, you can always trace the reason back to a cow (much like how Alliance can blame all wipes on NElf hunters, usually male), even if it is not readily apparent. You just have to dig deep enough.
Hunter pet pulls extra MC trash and wipes you? Blame the cow. It was a troll hunter? The pet was obviously made antsy (and pulled as a result) because staring at the fat cows made it hungry.
Cows also have troubull not bodypulling by accident, as they are larger than everyone else, so mobs will be more likely to come after them, so skipping trash with a fat cow in the group is all the harder.
Let's face it--there is a reason cows have the most limited class selection amongst the mighty Horde. They have hunter (the most brain dead class in the game), plus warrior and shaman, which goes well with their "DUHHH, ME HIT STUFF WITH STICK" nature. They are only druids because some of the more self-aware ones are ashamed of themselves, and thus try to hide their cow nature by transforming into bares and critty cats.
On top of this, cows take up more space on the server than anyone else. Not only do they have the largest character model, but their hitboxes are bigger than other players. With so many people on the server causing lag and sometimes crashes at peak hours, the taurens are only adding extra stress to the server.
Let's not forget that cows aren't too bright. They are large, yes, but they are powered by pea-brains. This is evidenced by how male cows randomly scratch themselves while idle, and how femtaurs make that odd sigh/huff animation. Femtaurs also look especially vacant, or "out to lunch" all the time. Clearly, there's not much going on upstairs.
But together, brothers and sisters of Nostalrius, we can moove past this. If we band together in a similar server-wide effort like the Gates of Ahn'Qiraj, we can raise a million gold to build a massive cattlegrid on the Mulgore/Barrens border and close all flight path service to Thunderbluff. Seriously, who wants to go there? It's the most death trap city of them all, as many unsuspecting new players will fall off to their doom or drown in the pool in front of the bank.
With the taurens enclosed, we can use the new forsaken plague to carpet bomb it. Together, we can bring about a new age.
Together, we can usher in... the Cattleclysm.
Taurens are a menace, although many people do not seem to realize it. When you wipe in a dungeon or raid, you can always trace the reason back to a cow (much like how Alliance can blame all wipes on NElf hunters, usually male), even if it is not readily apparent. You just have to dig deep enough.
Hunter pet pulls extra MC trash and wipes you? Blame the cow. It was a troll hunter? The pet was obviously made antsy (and pulled as a result) because staring at the fat cows made it hungry.
Cows also have troubull not bodypulling by accident, as they are larger than everyone else, so mobs will be more likely to come after them, so skipping trash with a fat cow in the group is all the harder.
Let's face it--there is a reason cows have the most limited class selection amongst the mighty Horde. They have hunter (the most brain dead class in the game), plus warrior and shaman, which goes well with their "DUHHH, ME HIT STUFF WITH STICK" nature. They are only druids because some of the more self-aware ones are ashamed of themselves, and thus try to hide their cow nature by transforming into bares and critty cats.
On top of this, cows take up more space on the server than anyone else. Not only do they have the largest character model, but their hitboxes are bigger than other players. With so many people on the server causing lag and sometimes crashes at peak hours, the taurens are only adding extra stress to the server.
Let's not forget that cows aren't too bright. They are large, yes, but they are powered by pea-brains. This is evidenced by how male cows randomly scratch themselves while idle, and how femtaurs make that odd sigh/huff animation. Femtaurs also look especially vacant, or "out to lunch" all the time. Clearly, there's not much going on upstairs.
But together, brothers and sisters of Nostalrius, we can moove past this. If we band together in a similar server-wide effort like the Gates of Ahn'Qiraj, we can raise a million gold to build a massive cattlegrid on the Mulgore/Barrens border and close all flight path service to Thunderbluff. Seriously, who wants to go there? It's the most death trap city of them all, as many unsuspecting new players will fall off to their doom or drown in the pool in front of the bank.
With the taurens enclosed, we can use the new forsaken plague to carpet bomb it. Together, we can bring about a new age.
Together, we can usher in... the Cattleclysm.