N'Zoth's Revenge (sequel to the year is 2023)

[Crypt1c]

This one is a bit longer, and I wrote it up while at work again, so I hope you guys find it entertaining!

Shoutout to Saeyon (me), Areala (old guildie from the glory days), and stupid ret pallies everywhere!

It has been 6 months since the release of legacy servers, and WoW subscriptions have hit an all-time peak. The retail version of the game had faded into oblivion once the vanilla servers became live. The recent release of naxx had all of the top guilds rushing for world first Kel'thuzad, but little did they know that a great evil was stirring deep within the Blizzard archives.

After Blizzard had abandoned their retail client, small changes began to develop in a patch long forgotten... Patch 16.3.2. When J Allen Brack had been defeated 6 months prior, a few fragments of him had remained, and over time they had managed to reconstruct his diabolical scheme. The battle for legacy was far from over.

His wicked influence had begun to seep over into the vanilla client, beginning with bug fixes, but eventually becoming added features masquerading as QOL changes. N'Zoth was playing his own game of chess, and he was nearing his checkmate.

Most people had paid no attention to what seemed like minor changes, but a select few had reached out to Gaben and Mark Kern for guidance. These people called themselves the 'legacy elite'. Their attempts were in vain however. Gaben was busy sipping piña coladas in a tub full of gravy thinking about all the money he was about to make from the steam summer sale and TI6, and Mark Kern had fallen off the face of the earth nearly 2 months ago.

Over the course of the next 2 weeks, the changes went from bad to worse. Dual talent specialization had been released, along with flying in Azeroth. A few of the lead members of the legacy elite were searching for answers, but the solution had been under their noses the entire time. Their salvation was hidden inside a level 31 ring obtained by defeating Scarlet Commander Morgraine. An inscription on the ring foretells of a prophecy where the world is on the brink of destruction, and 3 heroes work together to bring this ring to Blackrock mountain along with corrupted ashbringer, and throw the ring deep into the fiery depths in an attempt to restore ashbringer to it's pure state. Once the heroes have their hands on Ashbringer, they cleanse the world of this impure being.

After the ring was discovered, three members of the legacy elite began their journey to the Scarlet Monastery. A rogue named Saeyon, whose cunning and wit was unmatched, a paladin by the name of Voryl, the guild's token ret pally who was equipped with corrupted ashbringer (every guild has that ONE ret pally that sniffs glue, but they can't seem to get rid of him), and a druid known as Areala, who never fails to keep Voryl alive, no matter how often he stands in fire. Upon their arrival at the cathedral, they were met by a strange silence. All of the members of the Scarlet Crusade had laid down their weapons and were kneeling at the feet of Voryl. As the heroes passed, a few muttered things such as "Hail Voryl, the chosen one," and "Deliver us from this wretched plague." As they entered the cathedral, Morgraine was waiting for them at the altar. The doors shut behind them. "So it has finally come to this. Please come closer." Said Morgraine. "What if it's a trap?" Whispered Saeyon. "We need to be on our toes." But considering ret paladins have the decision making skills of a monkey with ADD, Voryl approached Morgraine, not paying any attention to Saeyon's warning. Fortunately it was not a trap, and before Voryl could introduce himself and his comrades, Morgraine held out his hand and gave Voryl the Mark of Kern. "Go now. There is no time to waste. The downfall of Azeroth is on the horizon and the only way it can be avoided is to fulfill the prophecy." Voryl tried to respond, but he blinked and found himself and his companions outside of the monastery, and he was wearing the mark. He heard a whispering voice in his head saying "Blackrock mountain....trapped by N'Zoth....send help....ashbringer." It was then, that Voryl knew what needed to be done.

By the time the heroes had arrived at the Searing gorge, dark clouds began to develop over Blackrock mountain, and there were what appeared to be tentacles poking out over the mountain's summit. A loud voice from under the ground warned them not to go any further, but the heroes pressed on. When they got closer, giant tentacles came out from the heart of the mountain and attacked them. Saeyon and Areala were dragged inside, but a mysterious force caused one of the tentacles to burst into flames when it tried to grab Voryl. The Mark of Kern was glowing, and Voryl ran inside after his friends. Once he was inside, he saw the two of them caught in the grasp of N'Zoth, dangling over the fiery pit below. The mark was no longer glowing, it was BURNING. With no time to spare, Voryl removed the mark and threw it into the depths. He then unsheathed his corrupted ashbringer and prepared for a fight. Just as he was about to slash at one of the tentacles, the mountain began to rumble. A jet of lava shot out of the pit and struck his weapon, disarming him and turning it white hot. There was a massive blast, and he woke up 30 seconds later to see that the tentacles were severed, and his friends were surrounding him with a look of shock on their faces. "What did you do?" Areala asked astonished. But before he could answer, Saeyon interjected with "Guys, check this out". He was pointing at ashbringer. It had been completely purified, and the mark of kern was still burning bright in the hilt. When Voryl picked it up, he felt the power of the ashbringer surge through his blood. He finally had the power to stop N'Zoth once and for all. The voice reappeared, but louder this time, and it came from above, not below. "I will not tolerate defiance! Come to the peak of Blackrock mountain and I will peel the flesh from your bones!"

When they finished their ascent they were greeted by the twisted figure of N'Zoth, and to their surprise, Mark Kern. Kern was caught in the old god's grasp and likely had been for quite some time. "It was foolish for you to try to stand in my way. I will not be defeated." N'Zoth swung a massive tentacle at the three of them, and with cat-like reflexes Saeyon leapt over the tentacle and slashed at the old god. He was unaware of the tentacle that was rapidly approaching from behind. It grabbed him and began to squeeze, but Areala enchanted him and thrust thorns deep into the tentacle and caused it to recoil in pain. "Enough!" Shouted the old God. Voryl lunged at him, but was apprehended by a cluster of tentacles, crushing the life out of him. Saeyon and Areala rushed over to pry him free, but in their carelessness, they too were caught in N'Zoth's clutches. With the 3 of them contained, he finished off Voryl, threw him to the ground and started to laugh maniacally. "You were not strong enough to defeat me" He boasted. But his arrogance had bought enough time for Areala to battle res Voryl. Before N'Zoth could react, Voryl cut a 6 foot gash in his body, and the wicked soul of J Allen Brack was released and imprisoned within ashbringer.

"N'Zoth had been holding me captive for the last few months, forcing me to rewrite the patch to attempt to sabotage legacy servers. If you hadn't shown up when you did, who knows if I would even still be alive." Kern said before thanking the heroes for their assistance. "Thanks to you, Azeroth is safe once again. Everything should return to normal within a day or so." With that being said, Voryl took the last few moments he had on his flying mount to fly to the maelstrom and toss ashbringer into the depths, for with great power comes great responsibility, and ret pallies are stupid and don't deserve nice things.

[phyriel]

for with great power comes great responsibility, and ret pallies are stupid and don't deserve nice things.

Perfect Happy End. +1

[Ziphr]

for with great power comes great responsibility, and ret pallies are stupid and don't deserve nice things.

Perfect Happy End. +1

Inb4 Smilkov posts screenshots and reassures everyone that the only class as great as ret paladins is prot paladins, if the servers werent buggy

[phyriel]

"If server isn't bugged, abilities work, people suck and no1 play properly with warrior rogue mage or warlock ret pala is completely viable dps. Don't you dare to deny this based on your 10 years of vanilla experiance or i'll call you terrorist"